


Why Even Try

by essexdogs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bottom Lee Taeyong, CEO Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Dom Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Fluffy Ending, Hitman Lee Taeyong, Lee Taeyong Needs a Hug, M/M, the irregular teaser got me alright
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-07-25 23:38:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16208054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/essexdogs/pseuds/essexdogs
Summary: Taeyong is a hired hitman sent out on an assignment, to kill a powerful CEO; Jung Jaehyun. He expected it to be an easy job, only for it to become one of the most difficult tasks he has ever had to do.





	1. Preface

 

He felt pebbles of sand dig into his skin under his fingertips, his whole body hypersensitive once his small frame hit the ground with a thud, as his mind filled with rage. He didn’t act on it, only looking up towards the boys crowding around him and digging his hands deeper into playgrounds gravel.

 _“_ You won’t amount to anything, Jung Yoonoh.”

 

...

 

With his nose buried in his books, he heard the loud bang of the front door from his room upstairs. A shatter and a shout followed, along with noisy footsteps that climbed the stairs. Jaehyun flinched when his doorknob turned and the smell of whiskey entered his room.

“What did I tell you about staying up late.” His father’s voice rang out.

“I have a test tomorrow, I had to study until –“ The next thing he knew he was on the ground, a slap echoing throughout the room. He didn’t know how close he had gotten until he felt a fist collide with his cheek.

“Why bother?! It’s not like you’ll make anything with your life anyway. You’re Jung Yoonoh.” His dad’s words hit him stronger than any blow he had ever given him.

He stayed quiet for the rest of the night. He kept studying.

 

...

 

He was left naked and disheveled, only a soft cotton sheet covering his indecencies. Through groggy eyes, he watched as his lover hastily compiled her belongings into a duffle bag.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?”

He was left unanswered.

He sat up at this point, a thousand questions running through his brain.

“I asked, what are you doing?”

She stopped once putting a blouse messily into the bag, her back turned towards him.  “I’m leaving.”

A confused sound left Jaehyun’s lips. He got up from where he was sitting on the bed to walk towards her, attempting to tuck a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear. She backed away from his touch.

“We just had so much fun...Why the sudden urgency?”

“I’m sick of being your sex toy, your stress reliever, your goddamn servant! You’re disconnected from everyone else, and frankly, I believe you’ll never realize that. You’re unlovable, Jung Yoonoh.”

 

...

 

He clasped his hand around the most powerful man he had ever met, giving him a tight smile a tight grip. His expression was anguish, as he played the part of a solemn employee that was upset to see his adored boss leave the company that he had built.

"I put my trust into you, Yoonoh." The old man's words had a playful tone to him, but his eyes held sincere weight. 

"You won't have a moment to worry, I promise you that. Thank you again, and safe travels." He said, bidding the former CEO goodbye. 

He was left alone with his new desk, his new office, and the start of his new life. Then there was a knock at his door.

"Would you like me to get you anything, Mr. Jung?" A voice spoke through the crack of the door.

"Please, call me Jaehyun."

 

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Taeyong’s tiny hands could barely reach the handle of the pot, even with the makeshift stool he had made for circumstances like these. With his sister at work and his mother, only God knows where, he was destined to fend for himself.

He ate the lukewarm soup at the kitchen table – too impatient to wait any longer for it to heat up – with only his thoughts keeping him company. He thought about how he should stay up until one of his family members got home that night so he could finish the math homework that he was struggling with. He didn’t want to get another bad grade on his next test.

It was past midnight when he heard the front door unlock, his eyes drooping at the moment before he heard the frame swing open and suddenly he was wide awake, his short legs doing their best to jump from his bed and run to the living room.

He spotted his sister taking off her shoes by the door, followed by hanging her purse onto the pegs they had in front of it. Her shoulders sagged, dark bags forming under her eyes.

“Taeyong, what are you doing up?” Her voice was stern, yet weary.

He was suddenly reserved, shrinking into his petite frame. “I was wondering if you could help me with some school work, but its ok if – “

“Another time, alright? I work again in the morning; it’s already past my bedtime, let alone yours.” Her voice was softer then, motioning him to follow her back to his bedroom.

She tucked him in, combing her fingers through his dark thick hair. They stayed together like that for a while, Taeyong laying in bed with his sister sitting beside him, her eyes closed.

“Has mom come home yet?”

He shook his head.

She nodded back with a sigh. “Gets some rest, ok? I’ll wake you before I go into work tomorrow.”

“Alright, Goodnight. I love you.”

His sister smiled, placing a kiss on his forehead. “Sleep tight.”

 

...

 

Handing over the small baggy to the man across from him, Taeyong gave him a glare. “Eighty this time.”

The man gave him a bewildered look, turning aggressive. “And why’s that?”

“Because of the way you acted last time. And the way you’re acting now.” He kept his demeanor.

They were seated across from each other in Taeyong’s living room, a crappy one bedroom apartment on the south side of town. From the corner of his eye, he could see the roach crawling across is kitchen counter, the one he had been trying to find for the past week. He had to make this quick.

He watched as his customer shift in his seat, lifting up his shirt to reveal what was hidden underneath. Sleek black metal tucked away in the waistline of his jeans.

“Still eighty? Or should I make this free along with the rest of your supply?”

“Still eighty.” Taeyong’s voice was deadpan.

The man whipped the gun out into the palm of his hand, cocking it in Taeyong’s direction. He kept his expressionless stature, his mind racing around the possibility that the cockroach would get away again much to his demise.

He heard a laugh escape the man’s lips that who sat across from him, throwing the money that was due onto the coffee table in front of them.

“You’re a real character, TY.” He told him as he got up from where he was sitting, crossing the room and out the door before Taeyong had a chance to reply to him.

Once the door slammed behind him Taeyong was on his feet with a roll of paper towel in hand, and with a quick flick of his wrist, he felt the crunch of the bug under his fingertips. The rest of his night was spent cleaning the surrounding area, along with setting traps across his musty living space so he wouldn’t have to get distracted like that again.

 

...

 

Classical music blasted through the headphones that were hooked into his ears as Taeyong stepped out of his dinged up compact car. He had parked in front of the abandoned warehouse he had been frequenting more often than he liked too, the only thing lighting his route inside were the bright stars in the sky.

Florescent lights greeted him as he strolled inside, the red blood stains on his shirt more apparent on his white dress shirt than they were when he was covered in the dusk of night. As he made his way towards the single desk that vacated the oversized room, he reached into his pant pocket and placed the ring finger onto the polished surface of the table, the wedding band still attached.

“Cough up.” He said, taking his left earbud out, but not turning down his music.

“Manners.” His senior barked, inspecting the piece Taeyong had left him before retrieving a white envelope, handing it over to him.

Taeyong counted the money, only to be left short. “I was promised more than this.” He grumbled back.

“Well, you’re in luck. I have another assignment lined up for you.” His superior told him, making Taeyong raise an eyebrow.

“He goes by Jung Jaehyun now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HellO yes I know short first chapter but I wanted to do a little preface before getting into the good stuff! This is my first fanfic for nct and I'm so excited for the many more to come! I'm expecting quick updates so keep your eyes peeled, and happy reading!!


	2. Chapter 1

* * *

  

 

Taeyong pushed his bangs that had fallen in front of his eyes from his face to the side, moisture making the strands stick to his skin as rain coated his body. He was perched on top of an oversized building, scoping out his surroundings from the roof.  All he had on him were a pair of binoculars and his disposable phone which was left on silent. He was dressed accordingly, a dark hoodie covering his torso accompanied by black jeans and a fitted cap.  He laid on his stomach to mask his figure as best as possible, the darkness of the night doing the rest as his job was to watch over the twenty seventh floor of the building directly across from him.

Alas with a restless sigh, he turned to his back and looked up to the sky above. Few stars scattered about that night, clouds blocking the rest like a barrier.

He had been camping out since sundown, watching Jaehyun eagerly the first hour or so, only to grow bored with the little actions the man had made. He didn’t fit the person Taeyong had imagined in his head; a large loud man that he could hear from such a distance, most likely. Jaehyun was young but held his head up high, his steps bold and face expressionless. And Taeyong didn’t want to admit it, but he was attractive. He could assume he was around the same age as him as well.

When Taeyong had gotten there, the office building was bustling with employees, but by the time the moon was fully rested in the sky, only a few remained, one of them being Jaehyun. It had gotten quite late once he was the only one, and Taeyong was surprised by the fact that he was still there. He had gotten little information on Jaehyun and why his hit was called upon him, but Taeyong had learned to stop asking questions a long time ago. He was told the basics, that he was a vicious boss that only cared about the advancement of himself. He was recently promoted to the highest position of the company to many people’s dismay, their only options now were if he were to resign himself or he was found dead somewhere. Being as young and tactical as he was, the latter was the most plausible.

He didn’t see the cruel superior that he was told about as he watched Jaehyun type away at his desk, faint dark circles forming around his eyes as he tried to keep them open. He hadn’t seen him leave his office since he had gotten there, it being more than a few hours now.

That made Taeyong think as he looked up towards the night sky, the things that people don’t see behind closed doors. He had experienced a great extent of events that most people see; affairs, atrocities, or simply long nights that people don’t take notice for.

He hadn’t been doing this job for long, but he was better than expected and the cash was good. It was a last minute resort once his landlord had threatened to kick him out for the third time that year, him realizing that selling snow wasn’t a great way to make ends meet. Already being inside that circle, he was familiar with the darker side of how things worked and knew the right people to talk to get a job like this. It definitely paid more but left him with more sleepless nights than before.

A realization hit him when he was on his second assignment, that death treated everyone with the same equitably; whether you were a kingpin or a family of four. A homeless man or a businessman, a hooker or a single mother. As he watched the life leave the eyes of the small child that was losing too much blood at such a fast rate, he realized this.

He definitely didn't plan to live like this forever. It was hard to not get wrapped up in what he was doing as one assignment ended, another one was lined up right in front of him. He had dreams of doing better things in his life that didn't require connections or guns or drugs. Something he could be proud of when he laid in bed at night, something that fueled his dreams instead of nightmares.

Rolling back onto his stomach he checked his watch that rested on his wrist, the clock reading just past ten. Taking a peek through his binoculars lazily he suddenly jolted up from his relaxed position, scanning the floor he was supposed to be watching. All the lights were off, and he couldn't see anyone in sight.

Jaehyun had left.

 

...

 

The next time Taeyong was at his hiding spot he made sure not to take his eyes off of Jaehyun. What he did previously was a rookie mistake, something he shouldn’t be doing in the first place. The job was seventy-five percent brainless, the other twenty-five percent being physical. He needed to remind himself that as he watched his target shuffle papers mindlessly and tap away at his laptop.

As night fell and more and more people left the office he noticed something different than he had before. Employees were leaving their desks in a hurry, their facial expressions hooded from what he could see through his binoculars. Something must have happened before he had gotten there, leaving everyone in the building on edge. From what he could tell Jaehyun wasn’t in the brightest of moods either, his eyebrows knitted together as he stared at his screen.

It was earlier than Taeyong expected as he watched Jaehyun pack his briefcase with a pile of files along with his computer, ending his night of work. Taeyong hopped up from where he was laid to make a quick exit down the flight of stairs towards the south entrance of his building, opposite of Jaehyun’s. With feline like steps, he made his way around the corner to peak his head out, just managing to catch Jaehyun leave the revolving door towards a nice sports car that was probably more expensive than Taeyong’s yearly rent parked right out front.

He had a general idea to where Jaehyun was heading, as it hadn’t been hard to find out where he lived and from the sources, Taeyong was able to acquire, he had learned that Jaehyun wasn’t the most social person.

Racing to his car Taeyong and getting in hastily, sped towards the direction Jaehyun was heading and with little difficulty he spotted his target as his vehicle stuck out like a sore thumb. He managed to stay a safe distance away even though his windows were tinted black he knew Jaehyun was smart enough to know if he was blatantly being followed.

Subconsciously Taeyong patted himself on the back as they headed towards where he had assumed where Jaehyun lived, a nice upper class neighborhood north of the city. None of the houses priced lower than a million dollars, and that didn’t count the utilities that came with them. The only problem he had was that it was a gated community, a code and guard greeting you before you could even get inside.

Jaehyun suddenly made a sharp left turn once the light they were at turned green, making Taeyong clumsily turn after him, a loud honk following from behind him. He felt his ears flare red, his mind running a mile a minute as he prayed that Jaehyun hadn’t taken notice. Still, he kept an even farther distance as he watched his car turn into a parking lot towards the left of them, owned by a liquor store.

Not asking too many questions Taeyong circled the block a handful of types until he spotted Jaehyun get back into his car, starting the same route they were once on. As they approached the neighborhood Taeyong parked a good amount away from the entry parking under the cover of an oversized oak tree. The suburb was relatively small, so it was easy for him to find Jaehyun’s house – mansion really. It made Taeyong wonder how much money Jaehyun actually made, and more importantly how many people he managed to piss off to get where it is.

Luckily the back of the house; was made out of all glass, it almost looking as though it was made out of crystals with the stars shining down on it. You could see Jaehyun’s every move especially while the lights were on at this time of night. Taeyong found a spot in the backyard far enough away for him not to be spotted but close enough for him to get a good look at what Jaehyun was doing. He watched as he threw his briefcase to the floor, unscrewing the dark liquor cap and taking a swig of it right out of the bottle. He hadn’t been home for more than a minute.

Times like these made Taeyong wonder why he had to follow his target around as he finds himself looking onto very personal moments which no one should peak in on more often than not. It was his job though, as it would be foolish of him to not figure out the life he desperately needs to take, know their whereabouts and the people they cross paths with if something bad may arise.

As Jaehyun loosened his tie and sat himself down onto the large sofa that was adjacent to his garage door, he slumped down and took another big swig of the alcohol.

Taeyong assumed he didn’t have to worry about anyone else.

 

…

 

This was Taeyong’s third night watching Jaehyun and his last. He had a good idea on how he lived his life, which wasn’t a lot, to begin with. He goes to work, and then he goes home. He goes to work, then he goes home. The profile of Jaehyun Taeyong had read didn’t hold a whole lot as most people don’t know where he was raised or how he got where he is now, or what he does. There’s even a rumor that he changed his name before coming into power to erase the image of his past life. _Coward_ they had called him.

Taeyong managed to get to the office building earlier that day as the sun was setting. It was calm and collected as it had been twice before, until he saw Jaehyun get up from his desk with a huff, making a beeline to where his employees sat. He couldn’t make out the words that were being tossed around but he could tell Jaehyun was yelling by the exposed vein that was popping out of his neck and the tense body language coming from the people who worked for him.

It made more sense to him why the hit was called onto Jaehyun as he watched him more, but at the same time, it made him realize that not even the people who are closest to him know who he is. Yes, Taeyong had only been watching him for less than seventy two hours and no he didn’t know him to the fullest extent but he saw something in Jaehyun. He saw someone who had a layer of protection cast over him so he wouldn’t get hurt by anyone he knew, probably something he knew far too well. In turn, he portrayed cold – letting out his frustration on others as he had no one else to rely too upon. He saw someone lonely. He saw himself.

It was a long night for Taeyong. He couldn’t start to imagine how Jaehyun felt as he had to do actual work instead of lying around idly watching over someone. It was becoming difficult for Taeyong to keep his eyes open by the end of it until he saw Jaehyun pack up his briefcase and head out of the office. He took his chance to climb down the stairs and out of the building he was on top of himself, taking the same route he has been towards his car and following Jaehyun as he did the day before. There was no stop at the liquor store this time, only a paced journey towards where Jaehyun lived.

Parking in a different spot this time than last Taeyong perched himself behind an old willow tree that sat on the side of Jaehyun’s house after he sneaked his way through the guarded suburb, climbing over the fence that lined it and used the cover of night to get to his current location.

He could see Jaehyun maneuvering around his house better than he had the night before, as he was closer but still out of sight as far as he could tell. This night was different from the last besides that as well, as Jaehyun had more for dinner than just a bottle of scotch. He didn’t cook anything intricate but it was at least a better effort than what Taeyong had seen. He watched him scroll through his phone, flip through the television, chew on his food, until he finally went upstairs to where Taeyong imagined his bedroom was at.

It was like looking through a dollhouse; with the entire backside of the house exposed Taeyong watched as Jaehyun climbed the stairs, disappearing through doorframes only to reappear a moment later.

As he made his way towards his bedroom Jaehyun lazily started to take articles of clothing off, starting with his tie, making his way down to undo the buttons of his dress shirt. He was in no rush, popping each one with delicate hands. Once untucking the shirt from his trousers he slid it off his shoulders, bearing his exposed torso in front of the oversized window. Taeyong could see every inch of skin that was revealed right in front of his eyes, drinking it in. Jaehyun’s body was _toned_. His stomach was hardened with muscle along with his biceps. He could’ve sworn he was flexing with Jaehyun’s arms sharp in the moonlight.

Painfully slow Jaehyun unbuckled his pants, but not before squeezing the length that rested just below his belt, making Taeyong gasp. He quickly placed a hand over his mouth, yet his eyes were still transfixed on the man above him. It was so sudden that Taeyong immediately grasped the fact that he shouldn’t be here, watching someone he was supposed to end - _kill_ , undress like some show. He should be home devising a plan, sleeping to wake up early the next more, anything but this. And yet, he made no effort to move from where he hid.

Jaehyun’s mouth hung open in a sigh as he freed himself from his tight pants, taking a last ditched effort to take his briefs off at the same time. He stood there naked in all his glory for Taeyong without even knowing. There was a hitch in Taeyong’s breath and a tightness in his joggers, his bottom lip between his teeth. Before he had time to register what was happening Jaehyun’s hand was back on his member, working himself to hardness.

Taeyong’s never seen anything like this before. He’s never walked into something so intimate, no matter how many times he’s been witness to private affairs. But it was like he was glued to where he laid, his body not working with his mind. Especially when Jaehyun’s head tilted back with his neck exposed and he thought he could hear the strangled moan that escaped his lips. He was rutting himself against the hard damp ground at that point.

To his dismay Jaehyun was quick with his actions as he abruptly spilled over his closed fist with the flick of his wrist over the head of his cock without warning, the muscles in his thighs straining and his neck snapping back down. He stayed there for a paused moment as he exhausted the last of his orgasm, his chest heaving and if Taeyong looked closely he could see beads of sweat that formed along his hairline.

It was his time to leave, that’s all he knew. Experimentally Taeyong got up onto his knees while trying to make as little of sound as possible with the dried leaves and twigs that were under him. Taking one last glance up towards where Jaehyun stood, his blood turned cold.

He was looking right at him.

There was a small smirk on his lips.

Quietness be damned, Taeyong bolted from his spot without daring to look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love you guys have given this already! This chapter was very wordy lol sorry bout that next chapter will be better with some actual dialogue, I promise! If you're in need of updates, you can find me at @shineefucks (i know) on twitter, I post about my progress and you are always able to dm me!


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((((I know Jaehyun has lilac hair rn but for the sake of a professional setting lets just pretend he had that beautiful hazelnut brown hair he had this summer)))))
> 
> Also I'm so sorry for the late update, I was definitely planning on posting earlier but then nct just had to drop what we talkin bout didn't they

Taeyong woke up with sweat dripping from his forehead all the way down to his back. He gasped when he opened his eyes, the sudden shock of realizing whatever he was experiencing was just all a dream hit him suddenly. He had already forgotten what the dream about except for some bits and pieces. He knew it involved a gun.

Once checking the time he made an audible groan. He had only been asleep for less than a couple of hours, and he had told himself to be up before nine at the latest. He could already see some sunlight peeking out from behind his blinds when he was deciding where he would get his coffee once he actually accomplishes to get out of bed.

He did manage to fall back asleep surprisingly; after his usual routine of tossing and turning once his head hit the pillow. He fell asleep thinking about Jaehyun and how he would go about the next day and follow through with his plan. He had decided that he had no need to even go back to Jaehyun’s house; he could finish it all at the office. He would make it look like a suicide, too much stress at work they would say.

He tried to not think about the last time he had seen Jaehyun. The way he looked at him with this sinister smile on his face Taeyong would’ve sworn he knew his plans all along.

It did worry him a bit if Jaehyun actually knew what he was up to or if he just thought he was just some pervert wanting a show. He went with the later, the clause of a bored Jaehyun being more plausible in his mind.

Against his wishes though, his mind deceived him. Even if it was a bit hazy he was able to remember his dream when he finally woke up the next and final time. Soft sheets surrounded him as he laid in an oversized bed that could probably fit double the amount of bodies that occupied it, which was two. Brown disheveled hair settled around the pillow that was next to him, but he couldn’t make out the face that was attached to it. All he could distinguish were deep set dimples around a fogged out smile. Their bodies were close, so close that he could feel skin against skin in the dreamy soft type of way that made him yearn for more. He reached out for the boy next to him, but suddenly he was out of his grasp, the contact he just had now gone. And yet he still tried to move his limbs in the direction of the boy that seemed miles away now, not being able to close the distance between them. Then he woke up.

His alarm clock screamed in his face as he rubbed away the crust that had formed around his eyes in the short time he was asleep, the images of dimples and messy locks clouding his thoughts. 

He got ready relatively quick, only having to put on his clothes even if he much rather wanted to go throughout his day in his sweatpants, and running a comb through his thick head of hair. He could've sworn it took him less time to make him look somewhat presentable than it was for him to actually get out of bed.

Like he had promised himself earlier his first stop of the day was the coffee shop that was a block away from his dingy apartment complex where he would ask for his regular order; the biggest size of black coffee they could give him. This morning he was unusually chipper though, as he got more sleep than he usually did with the added bonus of not waking up to another nightmare like he was accustomed to. It was only a matter of time until his mood dropped, so he relished in it as much as he could as he smiled at the barista and told her to have a great day. She replied back the same thing, Taeyong giving her a tight nod.

He only had one task to do that day, but wanted to delay it as long as he could. He tried to ignore the thoughts that came to his head on these types of days, but it was always hard as he prepared for what was to come. After downing his coffee he had to buy more bullets, he had to clean his gun too, and it was difficult to pretend that what he was doing wasn't staring him in the eye.

He didn't like his job, he knew that much. What he did was usually quick and easy, but there were always consequence afterward. The blood stains that littered his clothes and the exhaustion of carrying bodies around with his tiny frame, along with what it was all doing to his conscious he knew he couldn't be doing this for much longer. He didn't want to become the person he saw too often, the type that was thirsty for these sort of things.

There wasn't much to do before the sun went down, so Taeyong did what he did best; wait. He tried to busy himself once he got back to his house, cleaning corners that have been cleaned a hundred times before and organized shelves and countertops which had been arranged at least twice this week already. He realized fairly quickly once he moved out and got a place of his own that he didn't have many hobbies or people to spend his time with. He'd rather be alone, that's what he told himself.

He was cooking himself dinner when he saw the sun finally set, the sky turning a golden orange and the streets becoming crowded with the people returning home from their ordinary jobs. He enjoyed his cup of ramen as he watched the traffic through his second story window, cars passing by unreasonably slow as the sun fell deeper into the horizon. All the sounds he was making while he messily ate his food were drowned out by the honks of vehicles that were driven by too agitated passengers.

Once he found the strength to actually change and start getting ready for the night, he felt the sickening feeling brewing in his stomach. It always came at the same time like clockwork, right around the time he was about to finish the mission he was working on. He was foolish for eating before something like this he thought as he pushed down a gag. He wore the same outfit he'd been wearing for the past few days right down to the black cap and shoes, even if his nose _did_ crinkle up when he put his t-shirt over his head from the smell. He had to remind himself to do laundry after all of this; especially after this.

He packed a bag this time, tucking away his handgun and ammo in the secret compartment he had cut out of his backpack on one of his free days for the off chance of getting into a situation he would have trouble getting out of, even if he's never been in one before. He also placed his burner phone in the bag for later use.

It took him a while to get to his desired destination. Not because of any outer interference, only his own innervations. He didn't take his typical spot on top of the adjacent roof either, there was no need to camp out that night. It was late enough that he wouldn't have to deal with anybody bothering him, he only needed to figure out a way to the top floor of the building he had memorized days prior. 

The front doors were locked he was sure of that, but he also knew that there was a set of doors in the back. They were easier to pry open without anyone noticing and from his understanding there were no triggered alarms if he did so. With that knowledge he found himself wrestling ajar the heavy steel doors that were probably only there for the blue collared workers that supplied materials and lunches for those who worked in the building. He managed to slide his slim body through the crack he manage to make without disturbing the lock greatly, mentally patting himself on the back for doing so. 

It wasn't hard for him to get around as he was able to find the staircase effortlessly, the only complication standing in his way was trying to avoid every surveillance camera he saw. With only a bit of a struggle and a slight stumble he managed to climb the numerous amount of steps to the floor he needed to get to.

He was finally in front of the office he intended to reach, his heartbeat throbbing out of his chest which he wasn't sure if it was because of the copious amount of steps he just had to ascend or the task at hand. With a shaky exhale and trembling hand he reached into the backpack he slid off of his shoulder to retrieve his gun. He could never get used to something like this.

He tried his best to mute his movements as he entered the department, taking small strides and holding in his breath while he made his way towards the office that held his target, which had the only light illuminating through a muffled wall on the entire floor. 

Jaehyun.

It wasn't like he wouldn't feel the ramifications from his actions the next morning, but he had felt worst for ending someone's life in the past. Jaehyun didn't seem as bad as how he was told, but it still rubbed him the wrong way on how he had seen the way Jaehyun interacts and lives his everyday life. He had convinced himself that no one would miss him, at most only a little. 

With one last breath, Taeyong opened the door that was the last barrier from him and Jaehyun slowly. He was met with the back of his head, the only sound coming from the room was the clicking of fingers on a keyboard. 

More carelessly than he intended Taeyong advanced until he was directly behind Jaehyun with his pistol cocked pointed dead center to his skull.

But before he could even press down on the trigger, Jaehyun spoke.

"I've spotted you a few times, you know. I think you should work on that." 

Taeyong's stomach dropped. He felt the hand that was holding his gun become slick with sweat.

Jaehyun turned to look Taeyong in the eyes. "Do it. Before I change my mind."

He was frozen in place by Jaehyun's words. He had never come across someone so willing to die, and he hadn't even known Jaehyun had heard him come in. He was perplexed by this man to say the least.

To Jaehyun's dismay, he didn't grant his wish. Taeyong left the room nimbly without a word, leaving Jaehyun and more shaken than the last time he had seen him.

Without knowing why, finishing his assignment was now on the bottom of his list of things to do. 


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting! I'm so sorry for the wait, with the holidays and finals I had trouble finding the motivation to update and I'll take responsibility in that, but with those coming to an end I'm hoping to churn out a new chapter every 1 to 3 weeks! (depending on my school or workload or even my mental wellness (insert sweating smile emoji)) I hope everyone enjoys this new chapter!!

 

Taeyong paced back and forth in his cramped living room, which seemed to grow only smaller with every step he took. He was breathing heavy, air coming in and out of his lungs at a ragged rate. He didn't know what to do.

It was unlike him to get so worked up over something that could be easily fixed with a simple press of his finger on a trigger. That's what was bothering him though, he didn't know if he could do it.

The way Jaehyun spoke to Taeyong wasn't anything he was expecting to hear that night. He never had someone beg to take their life at him before. It made all of this too real when he was just trying to ignore the nagging voice in his head that liked to constantly remind him of all the wrongdoings he's been a part of.

He thought of just calling this all off; he's never declined a mission before, he didn't even know if he was allowed to. He had been an avid member of the community he was in, never having any complaints up until now. He had already wasted a few days with mindlessly following Jaehyun, he knew he didn't have that much time until his superiors would start to ask questions anyway.

Stripping from his sweat ridden clothes while still pacing, he managed to make his way towards his bathroom and twist the knob of his shower, turning it on the hottest degree. He stepped in quickly, the scolding water hitting his skin without receiving a flinch from Taeyong. He needed a distraction.

It was like he could read everything Jaehyun was thinking when he looked him in the eyes for the first time. The pain, the fear, the doubt. It was like he was looking at Taeyong as if he was his only outlet, making him shiver as if he was frozen to the bone even if it was only for a mere few seconds. He dunked his head into the stream of water with his eyes closed.

He didn't know exactly what he was going to do at this point, all he knew was that he had to see him again. Whether it was because of the mission he had promised to accomplish or just for peace of mind, he knew at the very least he needed some answers.

To devise a plan this time around was harder than last, as Taeyong had previously known his way around the more simpler task. Shutting off the water once his back was a bright red and a heavy throb pulsed through his shoulder blades, he stepped out and lazily picked up a used towel from the floor, hurriedly patted himself down then returned the fabric back to its original placing on the tile. He imagined that the best place to see Jaehyun again would be at his home, somewhere he knew they wouldn't get interrupted and a place where he didn't have to pry open any doors. Jaehyun seemed like the type who leaves things unlocked for the pure chance.

The problem Taeyong had trouble figuring out was what he was going to say to him. He had already seen him a handful of times and hadn't said a single word to him, he didn't even know where to start. 'Sorry I have to kill you?'

Without bothering to change into any clothes Taeyong followed his previous footsteps and picked up his soiled outfit from before, piece by piece until his hands were full. Taking a small whiff out of curiosity his nose crinkled up by the smell, a tiny unpleasant noise escaping his lips.

If he hadn't been in his living room when there was the faintest sound of a knock on the door, he wouldn’t have heard it. He was so startled he almost dropped the pile of clothing he had created in his hands, the only things that were covering his naked body. He stood there, frozen in place, as he wrestled with the idea who it could be. It was late, no one he knew personally was up at this time. He's never had anyone he worked with show up without warning, and in that case, he was always the one who came to them. Instead of a second knock, he saw the doorknob begin to turn.

Before his mind could catch up with his body, he began to move, running to the kitchen and grabbing the first semi-destructive thing he could find. He still had a vice grip on the pile of clothes that were keeping him decent. Cursing at himself for not double checking if he had locked his door after getting home, he changed his stance to the most defensive he could with his weapon pointed at the entrance as the stranger peaked his head from the doorframe.

The man looked around the room at first, scoping it out until his eyes landed on Taeyong. A smirk formed on his face once he formally entered the apartment and closed the door behind him.

"You really think you could stop me with a spoon?"

"How'd you get here?" Taeyong strained his voice so it wouldn't shake, clenching the metal utensil tighter.

"So you get to follow me, but I can't do the same?"

Jung Jaehyun took a seat on his couch as if he had been there a hundred times before. He was still wearing the same thing Taeyong had saw him wear only an hour before, slicking down the tie that was around his neck so it laid nicely against his torso. "A shame you haven't dressed for me like this before." He quipped.

Taeyong looked down as he felt his ears turn red once he noticed that he was on full display, the pile of clothing doing little justice despite his smaller frame.

He decided to ignore him. "What are you doing here?"

Jaehyun took in a deep breath. "Well I was gung-ho when you visited me the last time, pretty thrilled, actually, that I wouldn't have to deal with waking up at five in the morning and spending fifteen hours in a stuffy bleak room five days a week, but it got me to think. I just wanted to know why. And who set you up to this, because I know I've never met you before, I would have remembered."

Taeyong's mind went muddled for a moment. He didn't know where to start, with the shock of Jaehyun sitting in his living room, nothing was processing through his head. He knew he couldn't even begin to out his employer, let alone tell the person he was supposed to kill. He had to make something completely up, but from what he could gather Jaehyun was smart. He didn't want him to see completely through him, even if he sorta already could with the small amount of clothes Taeyong was wearing.

"No ones set me up to this. It's just me." Taeyong told him. Even if he wanted to tell Jaehyun the truth, he wouldn't be able to. The only person who knew who orders the hit is his boss, he's never known any of the people who actually want the people he kills, dead. It's easier to ask fewer questions that way.

Jaehyun sat up a little from where he was sitting with the same smirk on his face. "You take me for an idiot, I see. What's your name?"

"Taeyong. Lee Taeyong"

Jaehyun stood up from where he was sitting and moved closer to where Taeyong was standing in the kitchen. The spoon was long gone, as he knew it was a childish mistake to even think that could stop anyone. Taeyong still took a step back once Jaehyun moved so close to him that he could smell the assaulting aroma of his cologne. He wasn't sure if telling him his full name was the right idea, but it was the least he could do for a dying man.

"You're a bad liar, Lee Taeyong." Jaehyun's voice was practically a whisper.

He looked at Taeyong up and down now that he was in close proximity, Taeyong could feel a growing blush bloom across his exposed skin.

There was a long pause until Jaehyun spoke again. "Well, Taeyong, if you aren't going to tell me about them, tell me about you."

Taeyong was utterly confused. Jaehyun's expression wasn't filled with malice, rather tranquil. Their entire encounter has been rather placid from the beginning, even though he knew Taeyong was his hired killer. This only perplexed him further.

"And maybe take that pile of clothes you have and actually put them on," Jaehyun added.

Taeyong's blush grew darker before he stepped away from the other man to finally cover himself. He didn't know why he hadn't kicked Jaehyun out by that point yet, but he had a feeling that it was because he was just as curious as to how his mind worked as he was.

He found himself putting a clean graphic t-shirt over his head and tightening the drawstrings of his sweatpants before presenting himself to Jaehyun once again, but not before silently yelling at himself in the mirror he placed in his bedroom. He found him sitting at his previous position on the couch and hesitantly, Taeyong moved to the other end that was adjacent to the other man and sat there until Jaehyun decided to speak.

"You're not a man of many words."

"What do you expect me to say? Welcome in, make yourself at home?" Taeyong bit back.

An alluring smile reached Jaehyun's face. "Well, I bet you know a lot about me I assume. Where I work, where I live, probably know where I went to grade school."

Taeyong was about to argue but Jaehyun cut him off to speak again. "If I'm going to die, I would at least like to know who killed me."

Jaehyun wondered why Taeyong didn't say much, but Taeyong knew it was because he said stuff like that. He was bewildered, to say the least, that Jaehyun was still ready to die even after finding out where Taeyong lived. And if he really desired to, he knew he could easily overpower him. Jaehyun wasn't a big man, but big compared to Taeyong. If he was confused before, he didn't know what he was now.

"Well, what did you want to know?" Taeyong asked him.

"Why?" Was all Jaehyun said.

"Why what?"

"Why are you in this kind of business? What lead you here?"

That stumped Taeyong. There were many answers to that question. Some long, some short. He decided to start with the easiest.

"I needed the money. I bet you can imagine the profits for taking a life." He simply stated.

Jaehyun took his time to look around Taeyong's shabby apartment, his face riddled with doubt.

"What were you doing before?"

"Odd jobs here and there, nothing permanent. Selling on the side." It was oddly easy for Taeyong to tell Jaehyun, a man he just met, these confidential things.

"..Selling? Selling what?"

Taeyong had to remind himself that Jaehyun most likely has never been apart of the type of life Taeyong has been in for most of his. "Drugs." He told him, deadpanned. He saw the realization click on Jaehyun's face.

"So you've always been up to no good." Jaehyun mumbled.

Taeyong playfully kicked at Jaehyun's feet. "Not always. I was pretty good in school. Only got mixed up when I realized college costed money."

There was a solemn look on Jaehyun's face, but Taeyong tried to change it immediately.

"Don't take pity on me, please." He told him.

"I'm not! It's just-"

"sad?" Taeyong tried to finish his sentence for him.

"Disappointing." Jaehyun said, without looking at Taeyong.

"It's life. I was never handed anything, and I don't plan on starting."

"Fair, but-"

"But nothing. I don't want you to start acting as though I need saving as if I'm some charity case." Taeyong told him sternly.

Jaehyun raised his hands up to symbolize defeat.

There was a momentary pause between the two of them which was slightly awkward. Taeyong wasn't looking at Jaehyun, rather the pestering hangnail that was residing next to his thumb.

"I can't imagine you turned into a hired hitman just because higher education is expensive." Jaehyun's tone had changed since they started this conversation, his demeanor turning soft and his words more carefully executed, unlike his usually cocky expression.

Raising his head, Taeyong looked at Jaehyun who was already staring at him. They locked eyes for a moment in a different kind of silence, heavier this time as Taeyong processed his question.

"No, you're right. It's-" He felt his heart rate pick up, and his breathing becoming shallow. "I have a sister, and a mother. T-they're very important, extremely important to me. I need to be there. If I'm not there, they wouldn't- I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't able to-"

"I understand." Jaehyun stopped him before he could go on a tangent.

"Do you?" Taeyong snapped. He couldn't imagine the other man to be in any situation that was similar to his.

Jaehyun's expression wasn't distinguishable, only hardened and emotionless. "No, no I don't."

"Do you ever have to be concerned if you'll be able to put food on the table for not only yourself but also the people who dedicated their life to raise you? Wonder if all of your hard work will be for nothing because of the possibility that one of them won't come home at night because of your profession? You say you don't care if you die- If you were in my position you wouldn't be able to die. I'm not able to do anything else, not if I want the bills paid. Is that the answer you wanted?"

Taeyong was out of breath at that point.

Placing both of his hands on his knees for support, Jaehyun got up from his place on the couch, making strides towards Taeyong's front door.

"I think that's enough for tonight."

Taeyong was dumbfounded by Jaehyun's changed disposition. "What, is that not the answer you wanted? Or was it exactly what you expected?" He was shouting at this point as if to a brick wall with Jaehyun's back turned towards him. One moment Jaehyun wanted to know everything, and now that he's got a taste of it, it was like it didn't want to be a part of it at all. This infuriated Taeyong.

Jaehyun stood there, his decision to say something back being apparent. It was only for a split second though, as the front door swung open unexpectedly.

"Don't worry, we'll see each other again soon."


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you guys enough for the love I've received so far on this!! If you ever want to dm me on twitter (@shineefucks) about ideas or to even just be friends they're open!!

 

Taeyong was left alone in his apartment with only his thoughts, which were racing around his muddled brain. It took him more than a minute to wrap his head around what just happened. Jaehyun managed to find where he lived, have a conversation with him without putting him into a choke hold, and leave with his own demise. It seemed simple enough but completely foreign to what Taeyong was used to. Jaehyun baffled Taeyong with every passing moment.

Without hesitation Taeyong finally got up from his spot to travel to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of whiskey he hid away for exactly these reasons. He wasn’t a heavy drinker, but he found himself needed the liquid courage after missions or sometimes to simply fall asleep at night. He filled his glasses almost to the brim.

Taking a deep sip of the liquor, Taeyong tried to silence his thoughts. Jaehyun must have an ulterior motive, right? He probably wanted Taeyong to get to know him, that way it would be harder, maybe impossible to kill someone that he had just gotten to know. Taeyong wanted to believe that, but in the back of his head, he knew it wasn’t true. Jaehyun wanted to know about Taeyong, not the other way around. Taeyong still only knew what his boss had told him about Jaehyun.

His boss. He hadn’t been in contact with him since he last saw him, and he knew he probably was expecting Taeyong to be done with this assignment already. He would have to tell him he needed an extension, something he had never had to do before. He just wondered who would be the first one to say something.

The spoon he had tried to weaponized was still on the kitchen counter, it peeking out from the corner of Taeyong’s eye. With a strained huff, Taeyong put the utensil back into the respected drawer, then made his way back to his place on the worn couch.

The thing he hated most was that it didn’t matter what he was doing or what he was thinking of previously, his mind always found itself thinking about Jaehyun. Sometimes nothing specific, sometimes acutely specific. Like how his lips met symmetric dimples when he smiled, or the long lashes that would brush against the skin under his eyes whenever he closed his eyes. Taeyong took a bigger sip of his whiskey.

He needed to find out more about Jaehyun because he knew if he didn’t, he’d go mad. He knew his occupation and the car he drove, but nothing of the man who was just standing in his living room. If he got to know Jaehyun and finally found out why the hit was called on him, he would understand why everyone around him seemed to despise him. That would fix all of this, he was certain.

Taeyong fell asleep with the empty glass still in his hand, his legs curled up to his chest on the elongated couch, a small dribble of drool dripping onto his pant leg. His dreams were more of the same, except this time he knew who was plaguing his illusions.

 

…

 

The following night Taeyong dressed in his usual attire; head to toe in all black. It was kind of unimportant, as there was no need for any more stakeouts, and yet he wanted to display that he was actually still trying to do the job he had signed up for.

That was the real kicker. It wasn’t as if anyone was making Taeyong do this in the first place, he was the one that agreed to do the job. Taeyong was a part of a small network of people but it wasn’t like he was the only one who had this kind of task work. If he really desired, he knew he could find someone else that would be more than happy to complete it for him. And yet, that wasn’t even an option in Taeyong’s mind.

As he set off on his journey, he followed the route he had already memorized to Jaehyun’s oversized residence. He was too anxious to think about what he was going to say to him if he had the chance. He wasn’t going to be too stealthily, but he wasn’t going to be obvious either. He trusted Jaehyun would have enough intuition to spot him out.

In the back of the house, there was a big clearing followed by a strip of broad trees. Taeyong found himself on the edge of the patch of forest, leaning his side onto the bark of a sycamore and looking into the house. It seemed as though Jaehyun wasn’t home yet.

It was dark by the time Taeyong got there, making the house even darker, yet he could still see some of the aspects of the inside of the house. He remembered from last time the layout of the home, and the more he looked at it he realized that it was probably too naïve to call it that as it looked as though no one lived in it. The walls were blank and there wasn’t any furniture besides the necessities. It was quite odd to Taeyong as he could imagine Jaehyun’s paychecks weren’t small and had the means to get the décor he wanted. He assumed he just liked the minimal look.

Taeyong had flashbacks from his first stakeout with Jaehyun, as he caught himself closing his eyes more than once before he saw the kitchen light turn on. In walked Jaehyun with his black briefcase and matching suit. He hadn’t spotted him just yet, Taeyong being able to watch as Jaehyun loosened his tie and throw the bag onto the island that resided in the middle of the room. Before even taking off he shoes Jaehyun reached for the malt colored liquid that he stored in the cupboard, something Taeyong had already seen him do. Without even grabbing for a glass he easily shot back large gulps of the liquor, so much so Taeyong could feel his stomach get sick by just seeing it. Leaving the bottle on the counter, surprisingly swiftly Jaehyun made his way up the staircase to his bedroom and got out of his stuffy outfit he was required to wear into something more comfortable. Taeyong watch as he stripped off his dress shirt to expose his toned stomach and arms. Taeyong shamelessly traced his skin with his eyes until Jaehyun was in a simple white t-shirt and grey sweatpants.

It was when Jaehyun retraced his steps back downstairs that the man hiding in his backyard caught his eye. Taeyong only knew he had seen him because of the dimple filled smiled that spread across Jaehyun’s face and slight nod of his head as if to motion “come here fool.”

It was surprisingly easy to listen to Jaehyun. He told himself it was because he was a dying man, he should at least respect his wishes while he still can. There was just something deep down inside of him that made him tell himself that maybe that wasn’t the complete truth.

Covered by darkness Taeyong made his way towards the back entrance of the house that he presumed to be the basement doors. To his dismay the entry was unlocked, allowing himself to slide in without missing a beat. After readjusting his eyes to the darkness that missed the lighting of the moon like outside, Taeyong was taken aback. He was met with high ceilings above him and marble flooring below him, antique like furniture and art decorating most of the large space. As he walked around the length of the room, Taeyong’s eyes caught family photos, sports trophies, rows of books and movies; all collecting a fair amount of dust. As if Jaehyun had stuffed everything that resembled a human being into somewhere he never had to see.

After spending a good chunk of time studying what Jaehyun had down there, Taeyong found himself at the edge of the stairwell that led up to the main floor he presumed. Once climbing the steps he had to squint his eyes as he was greeted to a well lit kitchen and dining room. He didn’t see Jaehyun, and he was starting to feel anxious being in his home for such a long period of time alone after he was the one who invited him in. He didn’t mean to snoop, but he couldn’t help it. Perhaps it could help him piece together how the other man’s mind turn.

The main floor was less impressive than what Taeyong had just witnessed, he already had seen it, from a distance at least. What he noticed though were the small details one couldn’t see through binoculars; like the small chips in the granite countertops or the sticky spots on the tile floor that made his shoes squeak. There wasn’t much to look at either, only bare walls with limited seating area in the adjacent living room. The bottle of bourbon he had seen Jaehyun set down earlier was gone.

Taeyong wondered if he was allowed to climb a floor higher, where he knew Jaehyun’s bedroom was kept. He didn’t know what else was up there, he guessed empty guest rooms and unkempt bathrooms. Jaehyun was nowhere to be seen, and the top floor was the only place Taeyong hadn't been to. Against his better judgement, he climbed the last set of stairs. 

Now came the tricky part, Taeyong had to figure out which door led to Jaehyun's bedroom, as there were more rooms than he thought were up there. The house could fit a family of five comfortably, with even a few guests. He tried not to think how much the place costs. 

It took him walking into 3 empty bedrooms and one bathroom until Taeyong was able to find Jaehyun laying upright in presumably his bed, holding the missing liquor from downstairs. He's had time to go through a good amount of the bottle by the time Taeyong was able to find him, making his eyes a bit glossy and his cheeks rosy. 

He gave Taeyong a dopey smile. "We'll what are you doing here, Mr.?" His voice a bit sloppy.

It took a moment for Taeyong to answer him. He was clearly drunk, or at least intended to be in the near future. "You're the one that invited me in." 

"Oh, you're right. Come here." Jaehyun sat up from his position to swing his legs over the edge of the mattress, patting on the empty space next to him. Taeyong complied but kept a bit of distance between the two of them. 

Jaehyun held out the bourbon to Taeyong, offering it. Without saying a word he accepted it, bringing it to his lips and taking a deep pull. It stung going down, but it was better than anything he's ever had before. The bottle was probably more expensive than his monthly rent. Before passing it back Taeyong took a second swig; to get his money's worth.

"What are you up to? ..Sneaking around like that?" Jaehyun asked him, but not before taking a sip for himself, just as large as Taeyong's.

"Doing my job." He lied.

"Kind of pointless if I know you're there, isn't it?"

Taeyong missed a beat. Jaehyun was drunk, not stupid. Of course, he wasn’t there because of his job, he had a feeling in his stomach that wouldn’t go away unless he went and saw him, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to realize it.

“What are you trying to say?”

Jaehyun leaned in a little closer, allowing Taeyong to smell the pungent aroma of alcohol coming from his breath. “You came because you wanted to see me.”

They were staring at each other at that point, and without breaking eye contact Taeyong went to grab for the liquor to take another sip. It burned less this time, but filled his stomach like a warm embrace. A smirk formed on Jaehyun lips, Taeyong’s over thinking and ragged breath hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“You’re a weird one, Jung Jaehyun. How could I not?” Taeyong’s voice had a hint of sarcasm in it, but it was the truth. When Taeyong wasn’t with him, he couldn’t help it but think about him constantly. It had turned into more than just a job, something Taeyong has never had the honor of experiencing. This time around, he couldn’t help but want to discover the mind of his target.

His target. Taeyong had to remember that; at the end of the day, that was all Jaehyun was, and all he could be. He could admit that there had been a moment where he completely forgot what the real mission in mind was. He took another sip from the bottle before passing it back to Jaehyun.

“Weird? I honestly wasn’t expecting that choice of word.” Jaehyun told him, moving so his weight was held by his hand placed behind him on the bed.

“What were you expecting? You show up at my house unannounced, which I’m still confused as to how you found out where I lived; that’s supposed to be my job remember? You invite your assassin in your home only to have him rummage around his house trying to find you, in the end finding you with a bottle of bourbon in bed. And this was all after I put a gun to the back of your head.”

Jaehyun suddenly busted out laughing, his head tipping back. When he smiled his dimples exposed themselves, something Taeyong took note of. He would be lying if he said he didn’t like the sound of his laugh.

“Ok, my mistake, you’re right. I would blame the weird circumstances though, wouldn’t you? Without them, I would hope you were here because you thought I was charming.”

Taeyong felt his ears become hot, most likely turning a bright red. He barely knew Jaehyun, but that definitely wouldn’t be a word he would use for him. He was more puzzling than charming to him.  

“I don’t think you’ve been able to show off your charm, if I’m being honest with you. You wanted to get to know me, so now I want to know about you.”

Jaehyun broke his staring, looking down towards the floor rather than Taeyong. “What do you want to know?”

Taeyong tipped his head to the side, thinking of the right question to ask. “How’d you get to where you are today?” He asked innocently.

With a sigh, Jaehyun began to tell him his story. How he’s always been well off, ever since childhood. That allowed him to have a good education and get a job at the company he was at now. He was young, extremely young for the position he had now, but confirmed he worked hard for it.

He didn’t mention how he backstabbed his friend that was applying for the same job back in college or how he was handed the high paying position because the previous CEO was good friends with his dad. He didn’t mention how he basically cut off everyone in his life so he could focus on his career and not have any outside distractions, or those who left him because of the same reason. He came from money but from what he knew, he wasn’t getting a cent from either of his parents. He didn’t tell Taeyong how he hadn’t seen his father in over five years.

That was why Taeyong was more confused as he was before. He wondered why someone would want Jaehyun dead, who was just there doing his job. Everyone hates their boss, but it wasn’t like they would order a hit on them. He obviously had to dig deeper if he wanted this question answered.

“You seem well off.” Taeyong commented, taking a moment to look around the room they were in. It was more or less like downstairs, bare except for a few pieces of furniture and a surprisingly beautiful painting hanging above the bed.

“I’d like to think so. Money wise at least.” Jaehyun mumbled the last part.

Taeyong looked at him with his brows furrowed, taking a moment to figure out what he meant with that.

“Can I ask you another question?”

Jaehyun nodded.

“What do you want in life?”

With that Jaehyun’s eyes met Taeyong’s once again, his mouth slightly agape.  

“I’d like to have meaning. I don’t know if it’s achievable but I want to leave an impression when I’m gone. I want people to not have an ugly taste in their mouth whenever they mention me. Maybe someone to go on that journey with me.” Jaehyun’s eyes widened as if he wasn’t expecting that to come out of his mouth. He took another sip of the liquor in his hand.

Like an instinct, Taeyong reached for the bottle once he was done, at this point he took the last sip of the bottle. His head was fuzzy and his body was pleasantly warm. He nodded in agreement to Jaehyun. “I’d like that to.”

They sat there in a comfortable silence, and Taeyong hadn’t noticed how the two of them somehow become closer than they originally were, Jaehyun’s thighs almost touching his. His eyes trailed down Jaehyun’s face, stopping to look at his nose, the dimples that were peaking out of his cheeks, his full lips that had turned a beautiful shade of pink from Jaehyun’s constant licking and biting, a nervous habit he figured.

Without warning Taeyong’s phone went off, making both of them jump. He got himself out of his trance and stood up from the bed to take the phone out of his back pocket. His stomach dropped when he saw the caller I.D. Still, he answered. He had to.

“Hello?”

“Taeyong. Have you finished your assignment?”

 


	6. Chapter 5

 

"No..I haven't" Taeyong replied to his boss while looking right at Jaehyun.

His boss sighed on the other end. "That is very unlike you, Taeyong."

"I know sir, if you could just give me a few more days-"

"We don't have a few more days, Taeyong. We are on a tight schedule, I already have your next assignment lined up."

It was Taeyong's turn to sigh. "I understand. I'll take care of it." Jaehyun's face turned from confusion to realization in a matter of seconds.

There was no need for more conversation, as his superior hung up once he agreed. Taeyong dropped his phone back into his pocket and sat back down to where he once was next to Jaehyun.

"I can guess who that was."

"It's my job, Jaehyun."

"Why haven't you done it already then?"

The question that had been plaguing Taeyong all this time. He didn't know if he had the right answer for it, or if he had an answer at all. There was something inside of him that was telling him to forget everything he was taught to do, no matter what the consequences were. Unfortunately, in this situation, the consequences might take his life if he didn't take Jaehyun's.

"I-I don't know." Taeyong's face had twisted into a dubious expression as he looked down. He had started to pick at the skin surrounding his nails.

A hand was placed on his, allowing him to look up from the hangnail he was going at to see Jaehyun already looking at him. His face was close, so close that he could feel his hot breath warm his cheeks. Jaehyun's hand covered Taeyong's and slowly grasped it and on an impulse, Taeyong did the same. 

"I know why." Jaehyun was leaning in towards Taeyong's direction, allowing little room between them. 

Taeyong waited for his explanation, but it never came.His heartbeat skipped the first time Jaehyun placed his lips onto his. They were soft, in the texture as well as pressure sense. He had a twinge of guilt as he was almost frozen out of shock. When their lips broke apart Taeyong took the initiative to pull Jaehyun back in almost immediately, his free hand moving to his hair and running his fingers through it while keeping him in place. The kiss was less unsure this time, with both of them registering that this was really happening. It was as if all of the tension they had been feeling for the past week was released, their bodies melting into one another. 

Taeyong's senses were overloading, his mind was all over the place and it felt as if his entire body was on fire, and he knew it wasn't because of the alcohol he just consumed. It probably played a part in his actions though, not in a million years could he see himself actually kissing someone like Jaehyun. It had been in the back of his mind this entire time, emphasis on back. He tried to ignore thoughts that included Jaehyun as any other way than just a target, especially when they involved anything surrounding what they were doing now. He knew it was wrong, and that he'd probably deeply regret it in the end -but with a stomach filled with liquor and the way Jaehyun looked at him whenever their lips parted- he couldn't help himself.

They kissed for what seemed like hours until they were both breathless and Taeyong's hand began to cramp from grasping onto Jaehyun's hair for so long. 

"What does this mean to you Taeyong?" Jaehyun asked, gasping as he tried to catch his breath.

Taeyong took a moment to respond. It was a good question to ask, as he was still trying to come to understand it himself. He shook his head and raised his shoulders as if to symbolize his unsure answer.

"Your boss just called you to finish your job, which involves finishing me, and yet you basically did the opposite in a way." Jaehyun's tone was light-hearted, but he had a valid point. Taeyong was in a very difficult situation that he needed to find himself out of.

With a furrowed brow Taeyong looked back at Jaehyun. "What am I supposed to do?"

Jaehyun's expression turned into a serious frown. "Kill me, like you were assigned to."

Taeyong was afraid of that answer. He didn't even know if there _was_ another answer, but he wanted to find out.

"I see your gears turning, so let me reassure you that there isn't going to be another outcome."

"What?"

"You're risking your own life so that you can save mine. Do you really want that? You only just met me." Jaehyun had raised his voice.

Taeyong looked away. He didn't want to believe that he was right about that. Sure he had only just met Jaehyun, but he's gotten to know him better than some of the people in his life that he's known for decades in their short time together.

"You're the one that kissed me, why are you asking me this all of a sudden?" Taeyong finally realized.

"Because you kissed back."

He didn't want his time with Jaehyun to end, it had only just begun. He was able to see a glimpse behind the man he had been told about for so long only to find the complete opposite from what he was expecting, only by just scratching the surface. He couldn't stop now.

Taeyong bit his lip in thought. "Why do I need to kill you in the first place?"

Jaehyun looked confused. "Um. Because someone paid your boss a sum of money, probably a large amount-"

"No, I know that but why you?"

Jaehyun pondered on the question. "Ex-employee maybe? A current employee? Ex girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend?" Taeyong was sure he had just had his tongue down his throat.

"I can like girls too, you know." 

Taeyong raised his hands up and apologized for the confusion, and let Jaehyun continue.

"I don't have a clue as to who it could be though. I've crossed paths with a lot of people who don't care for me."

As a businessman, Taeyong could only imagine how many people Jaehyun had really fucked over. Some, he probably couldn't even remember their name. It left them where they started; empty-handed.

"Maybe I could talk to my boss, I know he's not supposed to give me any information I don't need but he likes me. I could probably get him to-"

"Taeyong, please. It's not worth it. Listen to me!" Jaehyun had to raise his voice to talk over Taeyong.

Jaehyun's face was unreadable, but his breathing was a bit ragged as he spoke again. "I don't need you to do that. Don't put me in front of your job."

"What are you trying to say, Jaehyun?" Taeyong asked.

Jaehyun paused for a beat. "Kill me, like you were assigned to do."

That idea had left Taeyong's mind ages ago. Instead of focusing on the real task at hand, he had been figuring out ways to get closer to Jaehyun. Not because of his work, but because he wanted to. He couldn't remember the last time he did something like that; acting out while driven by his emotions.

Before he could reply, Jaehyun spoke again. "What's stopping you anyway? Why didn't you just shoot me when you came up behind me in my office that first time?"

Taeyong closed his eyes that time, reliving that night. That was his intention and how it usually played out, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he fled in fear, not wanting to end another life.

"You were so  _eager_ , Jaehyun. It psyched me out. Made me realize what I was really there for. I usually try and not think about it." Taeyong's voice was small.

 Jaehyun moved his body so it was laying down on the bed, his legs dangling down at the edge. Taeyong could easily see his stomach rise and fall through his t-shirt in his position, his eyes suddenly fixated on the motion. 

It didn't mean anything to Jaehyun, it was something his brain was wired to do without any thought but to Taeyong, it was the sign that he didn't have to worry about seeing him motionless in that office building he kept such a keen eye on, adding to his heavy conscious that was holding him down like a ton of bricks. That night, minuscule to Jaehyun just as his breathing, had been the wake up call Taeyong desperately needed.

"Maybe I still am." Jaehyun's voice was low now as well, a whisper.

Taeyong's face scrunched up as he lowered his body just as Jaehyun had, laying next to him on his side.

"I don't have much going for me- my job is a chore, and yet it's the only reason I have to wake up in the morning. It's not like I have anyone to spend my time with, let alone care about me in return." 

Instinctively Taeyong reached out to touch Jaehyun's cheek, softly with his fingertips before cupping the man's face with his palm in a sort of comfort. Jaehyun naturally melted into his caress with Taeyong's finger delicately stroking against his skin. He deeply sighed.

"You have me." Taeyong was close enough to recognize that Jaehyun could hear his mumble. 

"I mean you can, if you want me to stick around." Taeyong said, backtracking a little. "I've seen parts of you that I can imagine most people don't see frequently I can assume, and I've really enjoyed it. I'd like to discover more; if you'd allow me." 

"You don't know me." Jaehyun's voice cracked as he looked into Taeyong's eyes, as if he was trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not.

"No, not entirely. But I want to." 

Taeyong bit his lip as he watched Jaehyun try and find the right words to say, his iris' shifting back and forth across the length of his face. It was comforting to know that everything that had been heavily sitting on his chest was getting out, letting Jaehyun hear what he desperately had been wanting to tell him. Taeyong didn't know what to expect him to say back, but when Jaehyun kissed him again he was avid to kiss him right back. He kissed him with as much passion as his words held, his hand on Jaehyun's cheek holding the man in place as he felt a hand snake it's way to his hip. Jaehyun pulled Taeyong closer to him with their lips still attached so their bodies were flush against one another and Taeyong could feel Jaehyun's solid chest against him, the one he had been ogling at this entire time. They kissed as though it was their last time being able to do so, even if it was one of their first. Taeyong knew that he wanted to savor every exchanged breath he could with Jaehyun, nevermind a shared kiss. 

This time they kissed until the sun came up, their hands roaming and discovering what they hadn't known before, their hair askew and limbs tangled. Before he knew it Taeyong had fallen asleep at some point in Jaehyun's arms, his mind completely blank and lacking terrors.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologize for the shorter chapter- somewhat a filler for exciting things ahead! Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoyed :D


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